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Stephen Hauser's Page
Profile Information
- Hometown:
- Augusta, GA, USA
- Country
- USA
- Joke
- What's better than eating turkey on Thanksgiving Day?
Watching the Atlanta Falcons flop around without Michael Vick.
- Relationship Status:
- Married
- About Me:
- I love making friends and building a solid residual income as social networking is exploding online. Thanks, Stephen
- Website:
- http://www.findcash.ning.com
- Humour type:
- Dry, canned, anal accountant, computer geek type
- Joker, Jokee, or Spoil Sport
- I just smile and nod
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Here's the funniest part, turns out we do pass on behaviour's etc. Through the other chemicals in our body. While it's not fully understood, it is known to happen. Keep laughing for happy children =)
© 2009 Created by Roland Taylor (Network Creator?) on Ning. Create Your Own Social Network
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SMOOCHES!!!!!!
HAVE A SAFE ONE!!
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man
prayed:
"God, please give me the strength to cross the river."
Poof!.....God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me the
strength and the tools to cross the river."
Poof!......God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and
he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: "God,
please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the
river."
Poof!.....He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked two
hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.
Trust in The Lord With All Your Heart
Welcome to LOL!
Be nice to Vick! lol...
By the way, small note, while it's not profanity or anything, some members *may* be offended by anal accountant, so be careful using such terms in your profile...
Thanks!
Can we actually call this a justice system!?
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son -- the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school
for it.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were
your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of
her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is
he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed
in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the
collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception of your baby was August
8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate
honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.
Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the
navel.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.